| MARY | Why are we going to Bethlehem because I am a single mother heavy with child? |
| JOSEPH | Because there's not tick box for the Nazarenes |
| MARY | Are you worried that our child might be a little bit .."special" |
| JOSEPH | I am very worried given the fact that I'm a virgin too. |
| MARY | I'm worried too maybe we should have gone to the King Herod Clinic for genetic testing after all. |
| JOSEPH | I thought the father told you "you must bear this child" |
| MARY | I know but the Archangel Germaine Greer told me I had a right to choose. |
| JOSEPH | OK Lets flag down an accessible ass.
Donkey drives past saying TOA Asses.
|
| MARY | Well heavy as child as I might be we'll have to walk. |
| JOSEPH | I suppose so .. I can't wait until they invent Mercedes. |
| 1st WISE WOMAN | We are the three wise women from the east of Bristol. |
| 2nd WISE WOMAN | We are following a star.
Star appears.
|
| STAR | A disabled Child is to be born in an inn in an institution in
Bethlehem. This child has the message that will set all disabled people free. |
| 3rd WISE WOMAN | But we are fair ... |
| 1st WISE WOMAN | (aside) too fucking fair. |
| 3rd WISE WOMAN | ... scrupulously fair and we thought we would go to meet some King called Herod
Cheshire to have a heated debate. |
| HEROD | Welcome you strange and disturbing misfits, though you wonder far methinks that you would be
better off in the safety of my home. |
| 1st WISE WOMAN | It's a pretty medical palace you've got here Herod babe. |
| HEROD | Well we have three priorities here at the Herod Cheshire HQ.
1. Kill all disabled children.
2. Kill all disabled feotoes
3. If not put them into stables called institutions. |
| 2nd WISE WOMAN | loverly juberrly so you don't like difference eh? |
| HEROD | I love it. It keeps me and my kingdom in jobs killing and testing. Anyway have you
heard of this very special birth that is going to happen? We'd love to kill it before
but we don't mind if it's after. In the name of charity please tell us if you find
it ...we need the work. |
| 3rd WISE WOMAN | (puts her arm round Herod) don't worry love of course we will. You'll be the first
to know. |
| HEROD | Great anyone for fourteen pints and a joke? |
| 1st SHEPHERD | Tis been a strange and wondrous night with all these them there folks passing. |
| 2nd SHEPHERD | and did you see that mysterious star that kept going from left to right and back again
trying to find an accessible galaxy no wonder. |
| 3rd SHEPHERD | Methinks it might be a sign the sheep have been strangely restless today even old Bert
seemed to want to get out of his pen this morning.
The arch angel Johnny Crecendo appears.
|
| 4th SHEPHERD | What in Christ's name is that! |
| 1st SHEPHERD | Who's Christ? |
| 4th SHEPHERD | I don't know but look at that! |
| ARCH ANGEL JOHNNY | Fear not though mighty dread has seized you troubled mind I will not send you to
the institution for insane shepherds.
I am an angel of the disabled people's movement and I bring you glad tidings that, today is born a
new campaign to make sure that no disabled person is forced or cajoled into an institution. This
campaign is called "Free our People" Hear the word of disabled people who live in institutions and
want out. These are your neighbors, your sisters and brothers. Will you pass on the other side?
DANNERS living in institutions testify about their lives.
|
| 2nd SHEPHERD | but where is this birth to take place? |
| JOHNNY | Follow me I will take you there. |
| JOSEPH | Hello Hello we've been traveling for days and miles and we'd like to be let in. |
| TONY BLAIR/ INNKEEPER | I'm terribly sorry but there isn't a place for you here. We're full and
you're too expensive anyway. Gordon, my next door neighbor, is always going on and on about how
much you cost. |
| MARY | But I'm going into Labour |
| TONY | Oh in that case maybe we can do a deal change the chair or something. Have you a membership form? |
| MARY | No not that kind you pratt I'm going to have a baby! |
| TONY | Oh dear, oh dear |
| MARY | A special baby |
| TONY | Oh dear, oh dear. more expense. Well I guess you could stay in the
stable for the disabled on a temporary basis. |
| MARY | OOOOOOOOOOGH |
| JOSEPH | OK Toe lets go. |
| TONY BLAIR/ INNKEEPER | You will let me know if there is anything I can do won't you? |
| MARY | You can count on it!!!!!! |
| JOHNNY | And so the "free our people" movement was born in an institution we called Bethlehem afterwards nicknamed Bedlam
Mary and Joseph cuddle their child.
|
| CROWD | MOO! |
| MARY | I wish those cattle would shut up. |
| JOSEPH | I guess there used to this place. |
| Ist COW | Well we're safe in here. |
| Ist SHEEP | I agree. |
| IST SHEPHERD | We be coming here on a strange and mysterious errand. (To the !st sheep) oh hello
Bert. We have seen an angel who has told us about this birth and mighty dread filled our troubled
minds that we might lose our jobs as social working shepherds of the sheep. |
| MARY | Well thanks for coming but could you shut up and listen now! |
| 2nd SHEPHERD | What an amazing concept I never thought of that. |
| 3rd SHEPHERD | This is truly a wondrous conference I can't wait to brief my departmental shepherds
team on this. |
| 1st SHEEP | What conference? |
| 1st SHEPHERD | It's not for you because you're a different kind of sheep. |
| JOSEPTH | Will you shut the fuck up! |
| JOHNNY | Away in an institution |
| 1st WISE WOMAN | Greetings I bring you a gift from disabled people around the world and that gift is
the struggle to be able to choose what you want to do when you want to do it. |
| MARY | Ta very much duck. |
| 2nd WISE WOMAN | I bring you the gift of the struggle for basic human rights to full participation in
the community you live in. |
| JOSEPH | Sounds good to me! |
| 3rd WISE WOMAN | I bring you the gift of freedom to act free to live free to be free wherever you may
be. This is the goal we seek this is the star. By the way have you thought of a name yet? |
| MARY | Well we' had thought of Jesus but my mother wanted him to be called DAN after that prophet who
went to the lion's Den and survived. |
| 1st WISE WOMAN | So be it the child shall be named DAN. |
| JOHNNY | And so it came to pass that upon this day a child was born and through it a movement that
freed disabled people all over the world. From this small beginning disabled people realized they
were not sheep but people just like anybody else with full rights to be in the community.
From this day all disabled people made sure that their brothers and sisters in institutions knew
somebody out there loved them as they loved themselves. They knew that if they worked together and
stayed together that they would win together. They knew that accessible toilets were crucial in the struggle. |
| TONY BLAIR/ INNKEEPER | Excuse me but there's a lot of noise out there we're trying to put the country to
sleep. Is their any more we can do for you? |
| ALL | Our child DAN would like to deliver a message to you. |
| TONY | Fine, fine let me speak to my centurions (Tony talks to the COPS). |
| JOHNNY | And so it becometh that DAN spoke to the innkeeper that all disabled people should becometh
free. DAN told the innkeeper that he truly was the way and that if the innkeeper didn't believe him
he would surely be out of a job by May. And the people sang that their should be a movement to set
all disabled people free and so it came to pass that because of this day that all disabled people
left institutions, and became full members of society.
This happened because disabled people realized that they would never be free them selves until
their sisters and brothers in institutions were free. They realized that they had to go into the
institutions to free them and so they did though many were persecuted and crucified by the social
services department. |
| MARY | (to the baby) Hush now little child. |
| DAN | I will never stop screaming till my people are free. |
| ALL | We will never stop screaming till our people are free!
Repeat!
STRAW AND GOLD! |