No wonder short breaks (respite care) for disabled children are regarded by parents as life-saving, given the lack of alternatives (Give them a break, Society 20 September). Yet, increasingly, parents are demanding support and services - such as personal assistance - that would enable them to treat their disabled child as one of the family, not as an unwanted burden. But what do disabled children themselves think? What might they prefer? If asked and allowed to decide, disabled children would opt, not for tea with pretend aunts and uncles in another part of town, but for fun with real friends, in the street, round the corner, in their local school or youth club, or (just imagine!) in each others' houses. Of course, disabled children, like their non-disabled peers, need and enjoy time away from home. But whereas non-disabled children have a say in where, when and who with, this is generally not so for disabled children. We expect carers' research to claim their services are 'invaluable' and their organisations under-resourced. However, my own work, as well as research by Jenny Morris, shows that the real shortage is in accessible mainstream provision. It also confirms, with much supporting evidence from disabled adults who were themselves sent away as children, that separating disabled children from their families and peers causes more problem that it solves. It is also a denial of their basic human rights. Debbie Sowerby |